Pain is Pain; Joy is Joy

Pain is Pain; Joy is Joy

We all experience physical and emotional pain. Pain is part of life. Yet we try to avoid it by escaping into our thoughts. Instead of feeling the pain, we judge our experience. Comparing-mind is a dark, murky place, but we often apply it to pain: "I shouldn’t feel sad (or hurt or lonely), because many people have things worse than me." Or the opposite: "That person shouldn’t be so upset, because her problems aren't as big as mine." The first statement separates us from ourselves. The second statement separates us from others.

Own Your Humility

Own Your Humility

From a young age, we develop a sense of self. We build interests, identities, and beliefs. We also build armor, because life is difficult: we all experience embarrassment, loss, and pain. It's natural to protect our heart. Yet it's possible—even freeing—to unveil our heart. It's possible to be vulnerable. To see our innate goodness, as we see the goodness in others. 

Heart Hunger

Heart Hunger

Last summer, I read Mindful Eating by Jan Chozen Bays. These words—her words—stayed with me: "Most unbalanced relationships with food are caused by being unaware of heart hunger. No food can ever satisfy this form of hunger. To satisfy it, we must learn how to nourish our hearts." The word "food" is easily replaced by others: work, social media, news, shopping, exercise.

Blind Spots

Since mom died, I've tried to practice self-compassion. I need gentleness as I move through grief. I need gentleness as I navigate this unpredictable life. And I thought I was doing just that. Then I attended a 3-day silent meditation retreat and received a clear message: I need sincere love and kindness from within. This insight brought me to tears.