Resolutions and Self-Acceptance

A new year means different things to different people. Often, we reflect on our lives: how we've grown and how we want to change. Lasting change, though, comes through self-acceptance. It's a strange paradox: until we accept ourselves as we are, we can't make the changes we seek. If we reject whole parts of ourselves, these pieces never heal. 

Earlier in my life, I confused self-acceptance with self-care. The latter involves externals; the former involves internal intimacy. I was good at self-care: I got pedicures, took yoga, and made lunch dates. Still, I had a nagging feeling of not enough. Years of meditation have taught me to sit with my uncertainty and self-judgment. I see the places I reject in myself. And it's these very places where I remain stuck. I won't become unstuck with a good glass of chardonnay and new yoga clothes (if only it were so). Bit by bit, I move forward by meeting myself right where I am. Even if I repeat the same negative habit a thousand times, I can begin again: notice the habit, forgive myself, and move forward with compassion.

We receive so many messages of "more," "better," "different," or "improved." Rarely are we told we're okay just as we are. Yet it's from this place of self-acceptance that we genuinely grow.