During my career transition, photography brought me alive inside. It’s a creative process that invites deep exploration of myself and the world; equally it allows for play, experimentation, and wonder.
I took this self-portrait 6 years ago. A declaration (and embracing) of my imperfections. Part of my journey as a photographer and a person.
Yet here’s the deal: It’s hard to walk the talk of imperfection, vulnerability, and brave realness.
Some truths…
Whenever I write a post like this, I have a vulnerability “hangover,” where I wonder what people think of me. (I wish this didn’t happen, but it does!)
This year, I’ve gotten clarity about my business: who I want to work with, what I offer as a teacher, and new programs I’m excited to develop. I’m working hard (and heartfully) and still, every week, I meet fear and doubt. A niggly voice that whispers, “Are you sure you’re good enough?” or “Do you really have something special to offer?” (I recognize the voice sooner, turn down the volume, and change directions, but it still appears.)
Though I teach classes and work with clients about enoughness, I’m not immune to the feeling of “not enough.” And the inner voice that casts doubt on my abilities also declares (right now), “Joy, you can’t admit this or people will think you don’t know what you’re doing.” (The chorus of inner critics!)
It feels good to name this. I’ll still have the “hangover” tomorrow, but it's liberating to tell the truth.
I can easily share my imperfections (e.g., yelling at the computer and needing to put myself in timeout, letting my yard be overtaken by dandelions, and fussing—ad nauseam—over my written words).
Yet the hardest truth to share is the core vulnerability: wondering if I’m okay and enough. I *know* I’m okay and enough, deep in my heart, yet that niggly inner critic visits me regularly.
In a culture that reveres confidence, independence, and public image, it’s brave to admit we don’t always have our s**t together. (And that includes all of us!)
We’re all imperfect and we’re all beautiful. We all struggle and we all shine. The bottom line: We’re all lovable, worthy, and enough as-is. (Yes! This is the place of belonging. And we all belong.)
