On Monday, after 17 months, we volunteers were let back inside prison. The correctional officers were kind and helpful. The incarcerated people in our meditation group were joyful.
We reconvened as a sangha, all of us changed by the pandemic. Gratitude, care, and love were palpable, even with masks on and no shaking hands (yet many deep bows of namaste).
At meditation retreats, people ask and share about their local sangha (spiritual group; people with whom you meditate). My honest answer: I belong to the sangha at Oshkosh Correctional Institution. I was overjoyed to be back.
After an initial meditation, we move around the circle, sharing deeply from our hearts; bearing witness to each other. Yesterday, no one chose to pass (to not speak). We shared about loss, insight, guilt, frustration, love, and growth.
A new member of the group talked about the huge debt he must repay. He’s on a new (compassionate, skillful) path yet he carries the burden of his past actions. How can he (ever!) tip the scale back?
A long-time member of the group, shared this wisdom:
Imagine a line on the floor. Everything on that side of the line is the bad stuff you did; everything on this side of the line is the good stuff. You’re throwing seeds onto the ‘good stuff’ side. Chucking seeds, hoping everyone notices: look at this good stuff I’ve done! Don’t worry about what other people think. Start being the sunlight that grows the seeds of good. Be the light yourself. Don’t worry about the seeds, be the light.
Whatever our circumstances, we can relate to this wisdom. We all hold guilt about past wrongs and mistakes; we all feel doubt, fear, and shame; and we all experience freedom from being the light—from being our real, vulnerable, brave, beautiful selves.
